Mother
by Kanthia
Summary: Maybe if you said you loved me just once, Mother, it would make me consider not leaving you. Even if it was just another lie. [ninocentric]


**Mother**

Word Count: 1,137  
Rating: K+  
Disclaimer: Kanthia first saw a Jaffar in a Disney movie. She likes the one without a parrot a little better.  
Pairing: A lot of really soft, implied love like the way a child loves their mother, and pre NxJ.  
Inspiration comes from Kanthia's grandmother, whom Kanthia adores more than a lot of things.  
Note: Kanthia has yet to finish Mission 26 (ha ha, five missions more than last time). Therefore, there may be some instances that disgree with canon; Kanthia has looked up the Support Conversations, but there may be some things missing. Please forgive Kanthia.

Spoilers for Chapter 26.

* * *

Hey, Mother, I met the nicest boy today. He was real young and has really pretty red hair- it's like Christmas, me and him, huh? 'Cause I have green hair and he has red hair, see? Mother, I don't even know what a family Christmas is like. All I know is that there's lotsa red and green lights and people get real happy around that time. How should I know? All you ever did for me on Christmas was kill a buncha people to steal some jewelry for yourself. I never got any presents or love from you; Brother Lloyd and Linus gave me what small things they could hide from you. 

Mother, you should see this boy, but if you did you'd kill him. You know why? 'Cause his name's Eliwood and he's the son of the Maquess of Pherae. The Eliwood who you said was big an' ugly an' all mean inside. The Eliwood who killed Big Brother Lloyd. Anyways you should see him 'cause he has this look in his eyes, Mother, and that look is the kind of look that Big Brother Lloyd had.

I never ever heard you say you loved me, Mother. I never ever heard you ask for my hand. I never ever ever saw you smile the same way that Eliwood can. You don't have mama eyes, Mother. You look at everything and see nothing. I bet you never thought of me as your special daughter like all the other mamas in the world do.

I tried to love you so much, Mother! Why were you so mean to me? All I wanted was to hold your hand so you decided to make me dead and asked Jaffar to do it. An' I think Jaffar must be a much better person than you 'cause I like him a lot more than you. I don't like you very much any more. All I wanted was a hug so you killed me.

Mother, you know what? They travel a lot when they're stopping the men you send 'cause now I know you're sending them to kill nice people. It was real hard to keep up with them because I'm real little and they're all real big an' maybe I sniffled a little. An' nobody slapped me, huh? Nobody called me weak! Instead a big tall guy with red hair on a real pretty horse named Kenny or something picked me up an' put me in front of him in the saddle, an' we rode all the way to the next place to camp together. He had real warm hands even though they were all calloused. Not like your hands 'cause you never touched me with them.

There are all sorts of people in this camp, Mother. There's Uncle Canas who's teaching me my letters 'cause you never bothered to and who's wife's sister might have been Mama, my real Mama and not you. There's Big Sister Florina who showed me a real live Pegasus and Uncle Merlinus who plays games with me and Big Sister Rebecca who's only a year older than me but knows all her letters and bakes sweet buns and makes really pretty necklaces.

Uncle Legault is here too. I'm not supposed to call him that. He ran away from the Fang 'cause the Fang is evil, see? Oh, and there's Big Brother Erk who showed me this old beautiful book with all sorts of pictures in it for me to look at. You know what he said to me? He said I remind him of his teacher. Isn't that weird, Mother? That someone says I'm good at magic?

The world away from you is so bright, Mother. I'm allowed to love and talk and run around in circles. Big Sister Fiora takes me on her Pegasus for rides. Brother Dart tells me about the sea. Sister Priscilla lets me sit on her horse. Uncle Rath tells me about the plains that are like an ocean of grass and a million miles big. One of the people has real pretty blonde hair she let me braid. She said her name was Louise and her husband's name is Pent who's real strong. He came and looked at me do some magic.

Pent says I'm going to become a Sage soon 'cause I'm working so hard. But first Louise says she's gonna treat me like a daughter 'cause I've been missing a Mother in my life. And I was missing a Mother in my life while all the while I _had_ one! You never were a mother to me, Mother! I hate you!

I'm sleeping in Big Sister Lyndis' tent tonight 'cause they don't have a little one for me yet. Everyone's been visiting since I came in 'cause they all go to sleep real late since they're all old 'cept for a few like Rebecca. They don't have early room curfews like I did.

You did a lot of real mean things to me, Mother. I wish you were never born. I hate you very much.

I'm crying a lot right now, mother. An' you know what? Everyone's in here cryin' with me. There's Hector who's real big and is hugging my back real close to his chest, and Big Sister Lyn with tears on her cheeks who is running her fingers over my hair and whispering that everything's okay, and Eliwood who's kneeling across from Hector and holding my hands.

They're not hitting me because I'm not weak, see?

And now Hector has me up in the air and is tossing me about like a bird. The four of us are running outside to dance in the deep purple sky of sunset. I'm free, Mother. Look how free I am. And when Hector throws me up, I'll have a place to return to.

Hector's just put me back down and we're walking over to where everyone's gathered around a fire. I can smell dinner. It smells a million times better than what you gave me, and almost as good as what Big Brothers Lloyd an' Linus would make for me. I miss them, but I don't miss you.

I'm sitting next to Jaffar now, eating the best wild stew ever. When this is all over, I'm going to marry Jaffar and get a nice little house in Bern or maybe Pherae. I'll have two little girls- one of them I'll name Iris, and the other I'll name Sonia. Just so that there's a person in this world with that name who can actually smile with their eyes, not just pretend to. An' they'll be real happy 'cause they have a real mother.

So bye, Mother. I take back every time I said that I loved you, especially the times when you replied that you didn't. I've got a real family now.

* * *

_-sniff-_

_Sonia made me cry...when she commanded Jaffar to do those things, I started wondering what it would be like to have a mother like that...and what it would be like when you left her and finally learned what family means._

_/kanthia  
_


End file.
